I have been meaning to watch it, but haven’t gotten the chance. As I lay in bed, aimlessly searching for something, here it it. I need a good cry and no movie has ever done it to me like this one.

“I want all of you, forever. You and me.”

My sweet love.

belleadoree:

I love this kid

Two of the cutest people on earth!

I really don’t like to say I “regret” anything and especially to wish I hadn’t done them because I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. I believe in the Butterfly Effect. So, let’s call this one, “Not my proudest moments”.

1. Getting Baby D circumcised. I wish I’d left him the way he was. I’m not against circumcision, it just isn’t what I’d want for him and now I feel obligated to do future boys. I

2. Starting school sooner. I’d be done already. This was barely my first semester of college.

3. I wish I’d done cloth diapers for Baby D. Or even 90% cloth diapers and disposables only when going on a trip/out for more than a couple of hours.

4. I wish I’d taken professional pictures of Baby D as a newborn and myself pregnant. I honestly don’t even know what my belly looked like. I only have a few pictures of myself pregnant.

5. I would have liked to saved more in the past. Self explanatory.

6. I should have eaten better while I was pregnant so I wouldn’t have gained so much weight that has stuck around post-partum.

1. “Where can I go?” I’m always looking for a new getaway. Places worth dreaming about. A new spot on a beach, a nice park, a good place to drive. That’s the great thing about living in California. You never have to go to the same place twice.

2. “What can I do for Baby D?” I feel like everyday is crucial. One wrong word could potentially damage his self esteem and hurt him. I’m already do stressed for talking about things when he gets older.

3. I wonder what Baby D will look like, tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next year.

4. Tiffany. I’m so thankful to have her to pass my time with. Whether I need to sing at the top of my lungs, dance my butt off, get groceries, or just sit on the couch and do nothing, I know she’ll be there. She’s a great friend.

5. Mallori. I get so excited that Tiffany and Mallori talk. They make my days do much fun while Alexis is at work.

6. What else I can do. I garden, blog, take care of my sweet boy, travel, but I want to do more and more. I want projects and things to do.

7. What I can do to salvage my relationship with Alexis. What I can do to get him to open up and how to fix out issues. This is the worst we’ve ever fought. This is the first bump in the road that wasn’t flattened within a day or two.

This kid. His smile is so contagious.

He’s always so happy. I honestly cannot be more thankful for how incredibly lucky I got. He sleeps through the whole night, rolls like it’s nobody’s business, and talks up a storm. He’s even started giving kisses. His kisses usually involve a lot of slobber and are almost always open mouthed, but they are the best kisses ever. He wants to touch everything and he’s SO curious. I can already tell he’ll be so adventurous. I can’t wait to go exploring with him.

He’s the best thing I could ever imagine. I don’t know where I’d be without him.

Oh buddy, you can lift your whole body, but can’t crawl? You’re just playing with my excitement, I think you just crawl in secret when no one is looking.

PS: I love you.

Someone got a new walker from his grandma! He likes it, although he only walks backwards.

Alexis’ mom was talking about the baby being left or right handed. She was testing him and apparently he reaches for things with his left hand more often. She seemed concerned, as did Alexis, especially when I seemed not to care.

He’s happy, healthy, and thriving, if he’s left handed or right handed is insignificant to me. I should take note though, so I can write it in the baby book.

Apparently my Parents magazine wants me to be neighbor’s with ElectraDaddy and watch musicals and bake cupcakes all day. I think this is do-able.

Cuddles. My mom watched the babe while we went to Costco. They have such great vegan foods there. I got some pumpkin flax oatmeal, naked juices, a huge bottle of cinnamon for $2!!!, vegan shampoo and conditioner, prenatals, and some other odds and ends.

Whenever I leave the babe—which is never for more than an hour or two— he always behaves well and acts fine and dandy. But the second I walk in the door and he’s not handed to me within a minute or two, he will FREAK OUT. This kid is a boobie kid for life.

My B-12 supplement came in the mail today, along with Alexis’ weight loss pills. I’m considering ordering some for myself. They’re Green Coffee Extract…any reviews? Safe while Breastfeeding? Will it make me skinny?

1. Appreciate me. Say thanks when I do something for you.

2. Converse with me. Talk to me about life, the future, opinions, ANYTHING. I’m great at listening and holding up a conversation.

3. Challenge me. Test me and argue with me. Give me a different outlook.

4. Care about me, not my body, not about having sex with me, care about ME.

5. Cook with me. Self-explanatory. Do it.

6. Make me feel like I am worth something. I e never felt like much, so making me feel important would be near impossible.

7. Be nice. I’m sensitive when it comes to a partner. I want to be taken care of, for a change. I want to curl up and feel warm and safe. I want someone sweet and thoughtful.

8. Marry me. Make me feel like I’m worth the commitment. Alexis refuses to marry me. For the first 4 and a half years of our relationship, he couldn’t wait to marry me. He gave me rings, called me his Wife, and loved all things future-related. Now, I’m unwed-ible. It came out of no where when I was about 6 months pregnant. It broke my heart beyond repair.

Baby D and Alexis’ sister. He’s handing out free cuddles and lovin’ today.

This one will be hard…no sarcasm. I’m really stressin’ this one.

1. I love baking food. When I had graduated high school, I had to make a choice bewteen a car and going to culinary school. I still am not sure if I’d made the right decision. Right now I’m working on opening up a small business. That’s my goal. I have a paying customer next month. My FIRST paying customer.

2. In high school, I was given an award that gave me garunteed admission to a UC. I am SO glad I didn’t do it. 4 years of college was not what I wanted to do with my life.

3. I love nature. I am not very fond of “modern” furniture and I’m not trying to have the coolest technologies or be up to date on those things. I like contemporary. These all might seem random, but I’m basically talking about home and decoration.

4. I love everything and anything for kids. Not because I am immature or weird, but because there is just something so pure about childhood. Everything is amazing. They take the time to stop and look at the flowers, they appreiate nature and animals. Childhood is a golden time and I cannot wait to give Baby D a childhood filled with love and appreciation.

5. I love crafts. I love making things and recreating things. It’s something special to me and I wish I had the time and money to just make EVERYTHING myself. Blankets, medicine, furniture, everything.

6. I’m filled with passion. I am passionate about: motherhood, breastfeeding, cooking, love, singing, and a million other things. I love life and doing things. I want to live life to it’s full potential.

7. I love clothing and I would dress better if I had a better body.

8. My bust size is 40 F. Yeah, big boobs isn’t as great as you’d imagine. You have to buy bigger clothes, bras are hard to find, NO bikinis can support that. Although, breastfeeding has always been painless and easy.

9. I would make a great wife. I love tending to people’s needs. I enjoy packing lunches, cooking dinners, caring for the baby, cleaning, and am always supportive. All I ask in return is thank you’s and appreciation.